Tips to help kids be friendly without friendships

You can model how to be friendly with everyone, even if you are not friends with them.

Modeling Kindness

Kids learn by example. Modeling kindness and respect for your child both at home and when you are out is essential. Point out when your kiddo shows kindness and name it for them.

Playing cooperative board games

Learning to play and share with others is hard. Starting at home learning to play with others through cooperative play practice can help children make friends at school.

Acknowledge Feelings

Making sure children feel validated is important. Helping them to understand their feelings by identifying it for them will encourage empathy. Show your child that hard feelings can be dealt with, without being unkind. Show safe ways for your child to express anger, sadness or negative emotion.

They do not have to be friends with everyone.

While they should be encouraged to be kind they are not responsible for liking everyone they meet but rather showing everyone respect. Kindness matters, it can boost confidence and attribute to a child's development.

Discovering and Exploring Kindness

There are many moments in the day when you can model kindness and respect for your kiddo. When you’re out running errands, interact with cashiers at the grocery store, the barista at the coffee shop, and waitstaff at the restaurant—smile, ask them about their day, and remember to thank them. Your child will pick up on these interactions.

Carry it over to your own home as well. Acknowledge when your kiddo shows kindness. For example, when they help out, get specific about what they did, saying “Thank you for tidying your room, it was a big help to me,” instead of something that can be vague like “Thank you for being a good helper.” It will give them a confidence boost while encouraging them to continue being kind.

Kindness at School and Home

Play cooperative board games. These games create an “us” problem instead of a “me” problem that everyone has to work together to solve. Acknowledge kindness in books and movies. If the characters get into a fight, brainstorm ways to solve the characters’ problem. Practice sharing—this is a great skill to work on for playdates and going back to school.

When you pick your child up from school ask questions about their day. Ask your question at a consistent time each day, like at pick-up, during dinner, or before bedtime. If you work this into your daily practice as a family, your child will expect it and know to have an answer each day.